Thirty-four years ago, on May 22, 1982, a beautiful girl from Indiana chose to become Mrs. Michael Cassara. Together we have pastored four churches, raised two girls, and bought two houses. Today, we are adjusting to the empty nest syndrome as well as being able to order from the Senior’s Menu at IHOP. As with most things in my life I’ve done a few things right and too much wrong in my role as a husband. So instead of blogging about what I may have done right as a husband, I’m going to share what she has done well as a wife.
- She has loved me unconditionally with a forgiving heart.
If a marriage is going to last “till death do us part” there will be a ton of stuff each spouse needs to get over and release. This is generally truer for a wife because we men can be jerks and idiots all rolled up into one being. In spite of all the dumb words that have come out of my mouth and things I’ve done which lack any resemblance of common sense, I’ve never felt unloved by my wife. She has this incredible ability to not carry stuff into the next day. Maybe she’s so good at it because I have given her plenty of practice.
- She has served by my side willingly in our work for the church.
I’ve watched too many pastors done in by a wife that resents her husband’s call to serve God in vocational ministry. Pastors don’t make a ton of money, we often work very long hours, there are constant demands for our time and attention and we put up with a lot of criticism. It’s no surprise that so many pastors leave the ministry because their wife demands it to keep the marriage together.
Suzy has rarely pressured me to work less. She understands that there will be days when I have to be away from the house 12-14 hours. She is a very content person who doesn’t put financial pressure on me to make and provide more than I am able. And she has always served in our church in a meaningful and productive way. She has led children’s ministries, women’s ministries, and served wherever else I needed her until I was able to recruit and train someone to fill that need.
- She was and is an amazing mom to our two daughters.
Our girls, ages 31 and 28, are incredible young ladies. There is no doubt in my mind who deserves most of the credit. She was and still is “Mama Sue.” I look forward to us becoming grandparents because our grandkids will be super blessed to have Suzy as their grandma.
So thanks Suzanne Marie White for saying “I do” 34 years ago and living out those vows in such an incredible way.
To celebrate our anniversary I’ve posted transcripts on the resource page from a sermons series I did in 2010 titled Love & Respect based on Ephesians 5:33 and the excellent book of the same title by Emerson Eggerichs. I require couples I do pre-marital counseling for to read this book.